Will they have a good day…?
How to best be happy at school is an aspiration that is very close to both a parents and their child.
For the parent, it is more about their child’s physical and emotional safety with their son or daughter being away from the home environment than anything else.
However, students it tends to be more about the quality of their social interactions with their peers and the way other students perceive them.
With there being SO many factors involved in students how best to make a child happy at school it truly is impossible to give a ‘one size fits all’ answer, so that’s not what I wish to present here!
Parents can reasonably expect their child to be individually cherished and nurtured in the school environment by teachers, administrators and other school personnel, the practical reality is that the student will spend much of his / her time on their own. This is not to imply that they will be isolated and alone but that they will pretty much have to figure out for themselves how to survive in the dynamic environment of a school.
For the past 30+ years I have taught in schools where the student population was around 60 students and in others where there were about 1200 or more. Also, I have taught (Science) in classroom, assumed the role of ‘form tutor’ acting in a pastoral capacity and in the role of an administrator.
So, I am sharing some general observations of what generally allows students of middle and high school to enjoy their time at school, and also to share those obstacles to that experience.
Succeeding academically is at the root of how best to make a child happy at school!
I am, of course, speaking generally here, and I’m acutely aware as I write this of instances where bullying at school, an abusive homelife or dire financial family needs can catastrophically impact student enjoyment at school!
We must never forget that as boys and girls of school age work their way through the various grades, they all experience tremendous influences of change. These influences can either strongly affirm or negate the intrinsic root of their happiness which can be summed up in the phrase:
“I’m Okay”
Without the depth of experience that only life can bring most students, as they experience the dynamics of Life, have a sense of always wondering if they are indeed ‘Okay’?
As adults we may consider the quality of their interpersonal relationships perhaps play far too much of a role in our child’s happiness. However, unless we, as adults, ‘see their world’ through their eyes we may, inadvertently, be a source of negating our child’s enjoyment of school.
This source of negative self-esteem can also be caused by teachers who fail to engage their students with meaningful academic work or simply neglect to show the relevance of their studies apart from simply ‘achieving a passing grade.’
A big mistake that is made by many parents I believe is to reinforce the very misguided notion, which is this:
‘ a student’s grade is a direct measure of their self-worth’.
Students will, on a daily basis share their assignment grades among themselves, from which will be derived the notion of who’s a “smarty pants” and who’s the “thicky.”
So, I believe a far more wholesome way to describe a grade that it is merely a ‘signpost’ or as it were a ‘mile marker’ on their journey to achieving a good level of understanding in their work and so students should always look at their assignment grade as ‘instructive’ not definitive.
I frequently made that comment to my students when I was in full time teaching and still do today when I am working as a substitute teacher!
A mystery solved!
The ‘mystery’ that puzzled me for several years as a teacher was finding out that students had indeed done my homework assignments (which I tried to make as interesting to them as possible) and simply did not hand it in! I recall saying to my students “Why oh why did you go to allthe effort of doing the work but then not hand it in? “
Having talked to many students over the years and listened to all that seems to be expected of them socially, academically and within their homelife I figured it out:
The problem is what I term an STD aka… Student is Totally Disorganized!
It still is a challenge even today for many students despite all their technological toys!
Overcoming STD problems…
In my role as a form tutor, I spoke to my classes about scheduling their time being very realistic amounts of time students should be doing homework. I would break down their time to 30 min slots and schedule in break times. Overall time on average would be about 60 – 90 minutes. Each student would then have an individual homework planner sheet something like this:
I would suggest that they include due dates, and the aim was to remind students not only to get the work done but get organized about it! Here’s something that may help! : https://amzn.to/3Vt1vdB
Really Effective Revision Techniques:
Frequently students at school will face topic tests and quizzes, the ultimate dread often being ‘semester exams’!
Often revising for a test or an exam conjures up images akin to this picture:
However, I will categorically say that this is NOT a good method for the vast majority of students!
Passivity in learning is probably the LEAST effective method, and although a student may laboriously spend hours staring at a printed page there are far more effective revision techniques.
I have often said to my students, “knowledge and understanding is like mud…. the more you handle it the more it sticks to you!” This view of being actively involved with their subject material is powerfully reinforced by psychologists.
To that end I am a powerful advocate of ‘mind mapping’ where a student, in the privacy of their own room, can ’empty out’ his/her understanding of a topic onto a blank sheet of paper, but NOT in a sequential manner, but as thoughts come,
When the there’s no more ‘inspiration’ the student can then, using different colored pens, group likeminded topics together, THEN they should look at the textbook to see what they have missed and add it to their ‘mind map.’
Minute for minute this is one of the most effective ways of increasing knowledge. Here’s something that may help : https://amzn.to/3TLkcHU
Make your child YOUR teacher…!
I have mentioned this in a previous post, but it is well worth repeating as it is SO important:
As a parent you have THE one quality which many teachers, with their overcrowded classrooms would love to have!
1:1 time with your child
By casting your child in the role of the ‘teacher’ and getting them to tell you in detail (perhaps while having dinner?) what ‘they learned in school today? makes them mentally ‘revisit’ the lesson. This very act of recall engages their understanding -or perhaps their lack of it – of a class lesson. If the latter is the case this provides a ‘targeted enquiry’ that can be raised with their teacher. (See my previous post on ‘The Magic Word all Students Should Know.’ Here’s something that may help: https://amzn.to/3T7tSeB
Invest in your child … the rewards are immense!!
Speaking as a parent and also as a teacher I know that when our children / students are successful there is no greater sense of accomplishment than that. For the vast majority of fellow teachers, I have had the privilege of working alongside, I know that they want for their students the same thing that every parent wants for their child. However, circumstances such as large class sizes, the clamor of ‘social distractions’ and family situations can present unwanted obstacles to achieving the best for them.
Your parental interest will, of course, pay huge dividends in undergirding your child’s journey not only through the brief but very formative years of school but also the directions they will take as future adults.
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