There really IS a word that will help ALL students succeed at a higher level in ALL their classes. Yet without direct encouragement to do so I find so many do not use.

This reluctance may be due to a student not wishing to appear ‘thick’ of ‘stupid’ in front of their classmates. Also, many parents either don’t recall or appreciate the power of peer pressure.

So, what is that word?

HELP!

In my decades of teaching both Middle School and High School classes in the UK and the USA I always encouraged my students if they needed assistance, to ask for help from their teacher.

In my role as a ‘home room teacher’ where I was acting more in a counseling role than subject teacher, I would remind the students that every teacher was TOTALLY VULNERABLE to that word!!

You said WHAT to that child?

If any principal of a school were to be told by a parent “my child asked for help from a teacher and the teacher refused” that teacher would soon have a very uncomfortable conversation with their boss.

After having such conversations with teachers who seemed ‘reluctant’ to assist students, the prospect of their being removed from teaching radically changed their perspective!

When to speak….

Especially for parents of younger children, parent teacher conferences are an excellent venue to address the matter of requesting extra help from a teacher. Particularly so if your child is struggling in a particular subject.

Such requests may be responded to with the teacher offering having your child attend ‘after school homework time’.

However, IF this simply means just your child is placed in a classroom with a textbook and not given 1:1 help by the subject specialist then, frankly there may be little progress.

So, this is when you, as the parent, need your child to approach the teacher with a targeted issue. This is one which has been established by your own 1:1 conversation with your child at home. (See my earlier post on ‘talking to your child’)

How To Help the Helper

Parents, remember that considering the colossal amount of accountability and responsibility teachers have, they are not well paid. Also, the physiological ‘wear and tear’ that teaching demands from teachers managing large classes and writing curriculum etc. is enormous.

This Means that that most teachers truly face exhausting workloads, and their time is precious to them. However, the vast majority of teaching colleagues that I have known gladly make sacrifices to assist struggling students and are particularly grateful when the student and their parent make assistance easier to give. Teaching is after all a ‘calling’ rather than an occupation to make a large income!

Having already shared that teachers cannot reasonably refuse to offer help to students – as to do so would jeopardize their employment – the quality of their help will be radically influenced by the manner of the request is made for them to provide extra assistance.

I recall being belligerently told by a parent to “give my child extra help” and that the student in question was one of the most disruptive ones in class. So the ‘help’ that I gave – so fulfilling my ‘obligation’ – was pretty darned nominal!

Therefore, there may probably be the need to discuss the optimal manner on when and how help can be given your child.

For students at high school…?

At the high school level, parental involvement in achieving student help is less frequent than at lower levels. However, in my opinion, many high school students require at least as much in high school as in middle school.

My recommendation is, of course, to provide as much encouragement for self-advocacy by your child. Also, that a ‘quiet word’ to the teacher at a Parent Teacher conference without your child being there can help too, as to do so in front of a child can simply re-enforces their sense of inadequacy.

For reasons previously stated I would NOT advocate parents complaining first to the school principal with the tendency for directing the administrator at the teacher like a heat seeking missile UNLESS there has been a clear and consistent pattern of refusal by a particular teacher to help.